So many times, over a lot of time I have considered choosing my own magickal name – but unfortunately, this seemingly simple act returned futile results; time and time again.
In the search for my new sacred name, I scoured articles, meditated, I even made up a random name to see if I could raise my vibration to meet the energy of said name – this amused me for five minutes until I realised that I couldn’t mould myself into such a name (although I’m still sure that some people can do this).
This cycle continued until such a time when I sort of gave up (I say sort of because it wasn’t a conscious decision – I simply thought ‘a different name isn’t me – I’m far too practical’ and ‘I can’t settle on a name because I just don’t have that in me, I can’t do it, I’m not sure if I’m even able to practice Wicca’ (yes just because of the name problem) and then it would be left until a later time when the topic would randomly crop up again somehow – because it didn’t seem to be going away anytime soon!
Recently the whole ‘magickal name’ thing cropped up again, when I was asked if I could write about the topic of Wiccan names for this website. As soon as the request came in, I found myself rolling my eyes in disbelief – the one thing that I struggle with, I’m now going to have to write about – how could I write about this when I could’t even find my own magickal name?
I should have had more faith.
I sat down to commence said article, starting at the beginning of my understanding by describing the power of words, and the magickal nature of names in general. I moved onto the common ways in which people can find inspiration for their names but in all honesty, I felt a little bit hypocritical because I had ‘failed’ to do this successfully. I had failed to find my own magickal name and here I was attempting to show others how to find their Wiccan name. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s how ironic the Universe can be sometimes!
As I was writing, I started to reflect again on my own experience and the possible reasons why I had such trouble in finding this elusive name. I pondered on the same questions I have described above. I questioned whether a name should change as a person changes. From a psychological perspective, I had decided that not being able to ‘find’ my Wiccan name almost certainly alluded to the fact that I hadn’t quite found my true ‘sacred’ identity. All I wanted was to find this name so I could start finding myself and also be able to write a useful article on this topic for others! Oh, the frustration.
I finally started to think about previous training that I had taken in psychological disciplines and I realised I was too detailed about the whole thing. I couldn’t find my name because I was only scratching the surface of who I was, and what my purpose is in existence. Have you ever watched ants at work? There might be a big pile of raisins near them, and most of the ants will have found the raisins, but there will always be that one ant who is still avidly searching so hard that he’s missed the treasure. Well, that ant was me.
By looking at it from a higher perspective, I realised that I was trying to name the part of me that I control (the part that is often our general identity) the part that I knew, and that I could contain within the boundaries of my ‘mind’.
I didn’t ‘know’ everything about me or my purpose, or what was going to happen not just in the future, but also on a soul and spiritual level. Plus, I didn’t want to control the name myself because I didn’t want to limit my identity or personal, soul, sacred and magickal power to the limitations of my own mind – because then it would only ever be limited.
Then, as if by magic, as soon as I had this realisation, my name came to me. There it was, shining like something that had never shone quite like it before. I tried it on and oh, it’s just perfect and magical in every way. But the name is nothing that I would have chosen consciously … not even close.
Now I know the true power of a magickal name. And if you haven’t found yours yet, I hope my journey will inspire you.
Michelle Marshall is a multi-passionate writer, entrepreneur, life-coach and tarot reader. Her work focuses upon personal empowerment, and how to fulfil our soul’s needs, whilst living in a challenging and un-natural climate. Readings, information and empowerment can be found at www.earthandwonder.com.